Suddenly I look foolish.

Once again, Blogger has managed to make a fool of me. Alright. So my strength is born anew. It appears that I can blog and send stuff as many times as I want without fear of diminishing the previous posts.

See, it's learning experiences like this that make me thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster for everything he has given me.

For more information on the religion of the Flying Spaghetti Monster... click HERE

Well, since all is well, I can actually go back to blogging like a nice boy.
I'm sick. I'm not sure what I have, but I feel down in the dumps. Under the weather. A lowly person on the scale of healthiness. I slept last night from 9:30pm until... god... 1pm today? I forget. I just know that I'm glad I don't have a job to call in to right now to say that I can't work. I just want to sit around and veg. (Which was my year, I suppose. A winner is me.) Anyway, I use two types of space heaters in my rooms. In the room that I sleep in, I use one of those water style heaters... (see fig. 1)


(fig.1) (fig.2)

And in in my computer room, I use a satellite heater. (see fig.2)

The first type is notorious for setting things on fire. For this reason alone, when my father set up his bedroom, he created a solid non-flammable spot for this heater to rest. I thank him every night I sleep with that beast on.

As for the satellite heater... it's a little more annoying. You see, according to my beliefs, my particular satellite heater has a little 'bubble level' . When that bubble is like one THOUSANDTH of a degree off of solid ground, it makes the WORST buzzing noise you can imagine. Actually, TRY to imagine this... try to imagine the MOST annoying alarm noise that your alarm clock makes.

Annoying, isn't it?

Yeah, THIS is more annoying.

And at 6:30am THIS morning, the satellite heater, which I had left on accidentally, (Remember, i'm sick) suddenly decided to shift... a THOUSANDTH of a degree. This sucker is TWO rooms away and it woke me up. I apologize to my neighbors. I'm sure they hate me with increased fortitude. I promise NEVER to leave the satellite heater on before I sleep.

Really.

Cross my heart.

Dramatic Couch

Picture 009, originally uploaded by Melzworld.

This is the 2nd of 2 pictures sent from Flickr AFTER 2 pics were sent from my Cell phone. My money is that THIS is the ONLY image to remain. What do YOU think?

Kick the Puppy

Picture 013, originally uploaded by Melzworld.

I sent TWO phone pics prior to this one, and THIS is 1/2 pix that will be sent from Flickr as part of my experiment.

A Picture Share!

Two of two

A Picture Share!

One of two.

*Back on the Saddle*

Blogging is an important therapeutic release for some people. (My brother, for example.)

To me, it's supposed to be an outlet as well, but every so often, I get discouraged.

For instance, I was excited to learn that I could do a few neat little things with my Cell Phone, and my Flickr account. My Cell can send Pics to my Blog with little to no effort. Likewise, my Flickr account has absolutely no problems sending information from that photosite, to my blog. So in so many words, the ability to throw pictures up onto my blog from wherever, shouldn't be a problem...

RIGHT?

Well it is. It turns out that when you send MORE than one picture a day toward your blog... it completely dashes out the previous blog of that day. To think, when I had spent all this time editing and setting up my blog... to have it eradicated by some test picture of a geode... or some random object... so I mean, I was worried that I wasn't able to post up more than one pic a day or something, else I would completely lose whatever i'd posted before. In FACT, i'll prove it to you. I'm going to take TWO pics on my phone, and send them to this blog today... and on TOP of that, i'm going to pic TWO random pictures from my Flickr account, and send them to this blog. In the end, my guess is either the TWO Flickr pictures will be the only thing on this blog, OR the 2nd of the two Flickr Photos will be the ONLY item on this blog.

So now I will CUT-N-PASTE this currently typed blog into Word, and try out my experiment. Because I KNOW that this one will get deleted...

HERE WE GO...

A Picture Share!

It's sad when u celebrate someones birthday... behind thier back.

Resolution.

As defined by Dictionary.com, the word 'resolution' means a state of being resolute, or firm determination. It can also mean to resolve to do something.

I remember writing an article about this to a Filipino Independent newspaper, and now I write it again, inspired by tonight's events.

The strength required to follow through with a resolution is determined upon the weight of the task at hand. If the resolution is to not kill people, then generally the strength to follow through takes little, or no effort.

If the resolution is 'to make a million billion dollars' based soley on the practice of collecting and recycling aluminum cans in the span of a few days, the strength required would we an impossibly insane amount.

But the fact is, people make resolutions that are seemingly attainable, and yet manage to not follow through without so much as a slap on the wrist.

I believe this is mainly because, it's very easy to lie to ourselves, AND break promises with ourselves.

I mean, you can't break up with yourself if you fail. You can't really punish yourself. You can't really stay mad at yourself for not keeping a promise, and the fact is, you really didn't trust yourself to begin with to put any real importance in that promise you DID make with yourself. So thinking punitively, you made a promise with someone who has a consistent ability to not perform, on a task that really isn't punitive.

So why WOULDN'T you break the promise?

SURE, the rewards are great if you DO follow through with the promise. You'll lose weight, you'll get that promotion, you'll finally be told 'yes' by that hot girl in the office. Seriously, these promises if fulfilled are nothing but bonuses, yet the fact remains, it is the constant behavioral conditioning that by 'not following through' you're not really put into some sort of jeopardy. So you WIN if you do it, and you DON'T REALLY LOSE if you don't do it. And a body at rest, tends to stay at rest. That's really the end all.

Now here's the question...

You've realized that YOU don't trust yourself. YOU won't get penalized if YOU fail to keep a promise with YOURSELF. Why ever do it again? Why ever put trust into your own hands?

Why fall in love again, if once heartbroken?

There is still the beautiful dream that one of those bazillion false promises might turn up into the real thing, and all of those times you were betrayed will finally be paid off.

I think it's time we put a little more faith into ourselves. I mean, it's important to know your own limitations, but believing that you won't betray yourself, and really sticking to it, and actually producing a result, might lead to a sense of self-empowerment. Actually being able to trust yourself, and your abilities, and being able to trust a self pact might lead to being a more successful person.

Confidence IS everything.

All those times you lied to yourself, you betrayed yourself, you broke a promise with yourself... it's water under the bridge. Re-establish a relationship with yourself. Be realistic. Then be resolved.

And SURE. In the beginning, you might STILL end up breaking a promise with yourself. But this time around, really feel that you let yourself down. Really feel like you didn't give yourself as much effort as you really could've, and then go back out there and trust yourself again. OVER and OVER, until you don't let yourself down anymore.

It's a wonderful thing when everyone else believes in you. But if you don't really believe in yourself, even in the midst of that... it won't amount to anything.

November 17, 2005 • Thursday

12:47 AM - Blogger.com can suck it.
Current mood: anxious
Category: Blogging

Na·zi ( P ) Pronunciation Key (näts, nt-)n. pl. Na·zis A member of the National Socialist German Workers' Party, founded in Germany in 1919 and brought to power in 1933 under Adolf Hitler. often nazi An adherent or advocate of policies characteristic of Nazism; a fascist.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

... Okay, well I suppose it wasn't the definition I was looking for. But seriously, my bro (AND girlfriend) both use Blogger.Com, and here I am, using (gasp) MYSPACE for all my blogging needs, and in order to comment on EITHER of their blogs, I have to sign up for my own Blogger.com account. I can't just VISIT their page and drop a note. NOPE. I have to join their DAMN EVIL community. I swear... By the moon, and the stars and the sky... (Oh shit. I better stop while i'm ahead.) Actually, now that i'm thinking a little more rationally, does someone else have to have a Myspace account to post a comment on MY blog?? {I am going to check RIGHT now} ... Nevermind. The Nazism is all around. If THEY wanted to post on MY blog, they'd have to do the same thing. Well, there goes THAT soap box. Okay. Blogger.com doesn't have to suck ANYTHING anymore. I'm all struck with the 'foot in mouth' syndrome now. Okay, so forget that whole diatribe. I'm just going to say that it's 5 mins before 1am, and i'm STILL wired on coffee. I must seek sleep. OH OH OH, and one more thing... http://www.timewarnerdoesnotcare.com/ While watching 'Lost' with my brother and sister-n'-law, there was this little message flashing across the screen warning of our local cable provider 'Time Warner' getting rid of ABC as a whole starting January 1st, 2006. Frankly, I think it was a well infiltrated hoax that somehow managed to penetrate HD TV's on a local level, but if i'm wrong... that would SUCK BUTTERBALLS. So click on that link, cause it's the link that was offered by the scrolling text. Alright, i'm done.

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November 15, 2005 • Tuesday

10:51 PM - Frustrated for all the wrong reasons...
Current mood: frustrated
Category: Life

Tonight, I got frustrated. (kuyashii) Frustrated because *insert something here* and because *insert something here*. What pisses me off is that I got frustrated for stupid reasons. I think I need to manage my time better. I shouldn't have just stayed home, hoping that *insert something here* or that *insert something here*. The fact of the matter is, it's not healthy, and I really need to stop *insert something here*. So I think starting tomorrow i'm going to have a MUCH healthier management of my time where i'm not hoping that *insert something here*. Because *insert something here* is very much so *insert something here* and here I AM just *insert something here*. SO, i'm going to sleep now. Wake early tomorrow, and really get my $#!T together. I've got a renter coming in, i've got to find cash, i've got to stop thinking that *insert something here* is my *insert something here*. THEN maybe i'll stop *insert something here* and actually start being productive. IN FACT, i'm going to start writing a list of things (AGAIN!) that i'm going to do RIGHT NOW, before I sleep. Here we go again. Wish me luck.

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November 14, 2005 • Monday

11:57 PM - I SUCK at Blogging.
Current mood: sleepy
Category: Blogging

This is no joke. It turns out that I am not very skilled at the art of blogging. I mean, I find time on the computer to realize that I should blog, but I don't have this inner motivation to post anything particularly... what's the word... compelling. My girlfriend explained to me that blogging to her is like showcasing your jaded personality. It's true. If you follow popular blogs that are out there, or even decent ones, you'll notice a very observant and witty attitude in their style writing. For me, blogging is a sense of straight up 'stream of consciousness', a chance to just air out what's been stagnating in my mind... the moment that I write it. I don't come up with these great anecdotes that I recall at the end of every evening. But let me try... Yesterday I went to the Del Mar Snow Jam... (Click Here!) I went last year because I didn't have diddly shit to use for snowboarding, and in retrospect, I remember buying... gloves. Yeah, I bought gloves for 10 bucks. But anyway, I paid 20 bucks to get in (8 dollars parking, 12 dollars admission), only to realize that I had an hour and a half left to purchase ANYTHING. Thankfully, I wasn't going for myself, and I picked up a 130 dollars of crap for my brother. I ended up spending like 10 on myself... for a board bag. The truth is, I need a snowboard jacket to make the set complete. After that, I will officially be a sexy beast on the slopes. Alright. That was my anecdote. See how painfully BORING that was?!?! Dammit. I really need to kick my posts up a notch. Maybe I should cuss more. Or post pictures of boobs or something... *sigh* Whatever.

Currently listening: The College Dropout By Kanye West Release date: By 10 February, 2004

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November 11, 2005 • Friday

9:01 PM - Diary of a MAD BLACK MEL.
Current mood: determined
Category: Life

I REFUSE to substitute. I just WON'T do it. Even if they paid me MORE than what I would normally expect to get paid, I just won't do it. Even when i'm NOT working, and I just THINK about the prospect of HAVING to Sub, I get Flashbacks. Those flashbacks that Vietnam Vets get.I AIN'T GOING BACK. That said. I still need to find money before Dec 12. An exact number has risen... 400. It should be enough to save my stupid hide.I need 400 clams, banannas, skrills, shells, bucks, bills, DOLLARS, and I will survive my December trip. - That is all.

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November 10, 2005 • Thursday

11:35 PM - Whole wheat... on RYE
Current mood: tired
Category: Travel and Places

... Yipes. I'm tired. I drove up somewhere with someone and totally lost something that was totally important. It makes me sad to think I lost such a thing, especially since I went through all the trouble of actually ACQUIRING said object.I know the title is weird... it's cause i'm listening to 'Bad' by Mikhail Jackson, before he started Jesus Juicing kiddies. I wonder though, do you think that WHEN this song came out, HARD CORE gangsters were bumping this, thinking in their head 'I'm a real bad ass for playing this song in my car." I dunno about that.Anyhow, i'm really tired, but I managed to REVAMP my entire Blog to look like a really badly done Web Page from the early 90's. I did spare everyone the agony of placing a cheesy midi file. That's all.

Currently listening: Bad By Michael Jackson Release date: By 16 October, 2001

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November 8, 2005 • Tuesday

11:22 AM - Need a job
Current mood: relaxed
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

Hello. I'm po. Ridiculously po. So I need a job. Preferrably now sooner than later. I have bills to pay. Don't you understand? I need to make SO much money, that it creates a vortex and sends me back in time.

Currently listening: Black on Both Sides By Mos Def Release date: By 12 October, 1999

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October 31, 2005 • Monday

11:08 PM - Halloweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekend's OVER. Current mood: sleepy
I need to get a chob. Anyone know where I can get a quick CHOB that pays me?

Pornstars are people too. People who like to fuck other people on camera. For money.