Resolution.

As defined by Dictionary.com, the word 'resolution' means a state of being resolute, or firm determination. It can also mean to resolve to do something.

I remember writing an article about this to a Filipino Independent newspaper, and now I write it again, inspired by tonight's events.

The strength required to follow through with a resolution is determined upon the weight of the task at hand. If the resolution is to not kill people, then generally the strength to follow through takes little, or no effort.

If the resolution is 'to make a million billion dollars' based soley on the practice of collecting and recycling aluminum cans in the span of a few days, the strength required would we an impossibly insane amount.

But the fact is, people make resolutions that are seemingly attainable, and yet manage to not follow through without so much as a slap on the wrist.

I believe this is mainly because, it's very easy to lie to ourselves, AND break promises with ourselves.

I mean, you can't break up with yourself if you fail. You can't really punish yourself. You can't really stay mad at yourself for not keeping a promise, and the fact is, you really didn't trust yourself to begin with to put any real importance in that promise you DID make with yourself. So thinking punitively, you made a promise with someone who has a consistent ability to not perform, on a task that really isn't punitive.

So why WOULDN'T you break the promise?

SURE, the rewards are great if you DO follow through with the promise. You'll lose weight, you'll get that promotion, you'll finally be told 'yes' by that hot girl in the office. Seriously, these promises if fulfilled are nothing but bonuses, yet the fact remains, it is the constant behavioral conditioning that by 'not following through' you're not really put into some sort of jeopardy. So you WIN if you do it, and you DON'T REALLY LOSE if you don't do it. And a body at rest, tends to stay at rest. That's really the end all.

Now here's the question...

You've realized that YOU don't trust yourself. YOU won't get penalized if YOU fail to keep a promise with YOURSELF. Why ever do it again? Why ever put trust into your own hands?

Why fall in love again, if once heartbroken?

There is still the beautiful dream that one of those bazillion false promises might turn up into the real thing, and all of those times you were betrayed will finally be paid off.

I think it's time we put a little more faith into ourselves. I mean, it's important to know your own limitations, but believing that you won't betray yourself, and really sticking to it, and actually producing a result, might lead to a sense of self-empowerment. Actually being able to trust yourself, and your abilities, and being able to trust a self pact might lead to being a more successful person.

Confidence IS everything.

All those times you lied to yourself, you betrayed yourself, you broke a promise with yourself... it's water under the bridge. Re-establish a relationship with yourself. Be realistic. Then be resolved.

And SURE. In the beginning, you might STILL end up breaking a promise with yourself. But this time around, really feel that you let yourself down. Really feel like you didn't give yourself as much effort as you really could've, and then go back out there and trust yourself again. OVER and OVER, until you don't let yourself down anymore.

It's a wonderful thing when everyone else believes in you. But if you don't really believe in yourself, even in the midst of that... it won't amount to anything.