By the way... despite an UGLY landing, I'm here... and alive... and it's 2 degrees outside. :(
Yesterday, my defeated brother (exhausted from his prior birthday hell) came over to pick me up and take me to downtown. I was up the night before until 1-ish getting ready, and when he came to get me, I was feeling a combination of exhaustion and nervousness. (Remember, I don't have my charm, and it was still bugging me.) Anyhow, we had some pretty in depth discussions regarding future plans. *WINK WINK Other than that, it was fairly easy trip ONTO the plane.
So getting onto the plane, I notice that i'm sitting next to an empty seat, (I always get aisle seating) and next to that is a middle aged frumpy woman. If i'm lucky, we won't get anyone between us, and i'll have a nice relaxing 3 hour 40 minute trip. Then as i'm sitting there, ANOTHER old lady walks up to me. So i'm thinking 'she needs to get into the empty seat' and I get up. She goes ahead and plops down in my seat. BITCH!!!
It turns out I was supposed to sit ONE ROW BACK. So totally embarassed, I sit back one row... and i'm next to...
MATT DAMON??
Well, not really, but this guy LOOKED like him. And NEXT to him was a girl who looked like Brooke Burke's younger sister. So I was thinking... "this is good looking couple."
BOY WAS I WRONG. (whoops... be right back... nose bleeding...)
(Okay, i'm back... the sudden shift in temperature does that to my nose.)
Anyway, yeah, I was completely under the impression that they were a couple... but as I leaned back, slipped on my headphones, and prepared to take a mental Yacht cruise into Minneapolis with Michael McDonald as my crooning captain...
Brooke starts talking to Matt.
Brooke: "So what do you do again?"
Matt: "I'm a cell phone sales company recruiter..."
So it turns out that they don't know each other, and they're GOING to find out. Now, I have my reasons for not really caring about this conversation... (mostly because i'm FLYING to that reason), but I couldn't help but overhear that Matt's job was... for cell phones. Being erotically seducted to the Palm Treo 650, I HAD to butt in and ask politely...
Mel: "Hi, can I have a Palm Treo 650 from you cheap? Oh, and for Sprint."
Okay, well maybe I didn't say it like that, but I did ask to that extent. Once again it turns out he worked for a company that did not work with Sprint, so I told him to go to stinky hell, and went back to my headphones, and the undeniably smooth music that IS Yacht Rock. Of course BROOKE wasn't satisfied with letting me sleep. She started talking to Matt about San Diego, and if he liked it...
Matt: "Not really..."
Brooke: "WHAT?! I don't like you... hey, where are YOU from?"
(You, referred, to me.)
Me: "San Diego."
Brooke: "Trade seats with him, I wanna sit next to you!"
Well, it was just that Brooke happened to LOVE San Diego, and was insulted that Matt didn't. So then I was dragged into the conversation of why Matt missed out during his 'conference' here. I basically told Matt to stay home, cause we didn't need more people in San Diego... and once I did that, all three of us started to talk.
And talk.
The first one to dissolve the mystery of their singleness was me.
Brooke: "So why Sioux Falls?"
Me: "That's where the girlfriend is."
The next one to reveal their true relationship nature, was Brooke...
Brooke: (to Matt) "You look JUST like my Husband! We've been married for TWO years... wanna see my ring?"
Finally, to make things more interesting... Matt decided to lay it out for us...
Matt: "I have a baby. She's 6 months."
So the comedy in this situation is... THREE singles, all on the same row... went from good-looking-singles, to ONE in a relationship, ONE who was married, and ONE who was NOT even married but with a 6 year old child but in a relationship.
Regardless... Brooke felt that we still needed alcohol... so after buying a Cranberry Vodka... she became bold... and wondered if she should still get another vodka, or maybe a wine.
Matt: "What happens when you drink too much wine?"
Brooke: "I get all like 'I LOVE YOU GUYS'."
Me: "And too much Vodka?"
Brooke: "I feel like I want to get into a fight."
Me and Matt: "WINE PLEASE!"
186ml of BAD Chardonnay. I think it was called... Casa Mayor or something like that. It was a twist off. A vintage really. They were better off giving us boxed wine. Brooke decided to buy a round for ALL of us.
But we downed our first wine, and Brooke revealed her name was Julianne. I became Romel. Matt... he turned into Levi. (Pronounced Lee-Vie, like the jean.)
Since Brooke bought the first round... and I, the lightweight of the bunch, was already SLIGHTLY buzzed, voted for paying for the SECOND round. THEN things started to get fun. After downing another 186 millileters of bad vino, we became 'The Loud Drunk Bunch In the Back Of the Plane".
This was mostly because, my second round PUT me into Happy Land. Since Julianne had drunk TWO shots PRIOR to her Vodka Cranberry AND two bottles of wine, SHE was in a Happy Spot... and Levi? Levi was an ex Frat Boy with the last name... O'Brien. So genetics alone gave him a +9 Drunk Resistance.
This didn't stop Julianne from sending us a THIRD ROUND.
This is when things went from GREAT, to just OKAY. We were nearing the end of the trip... I was DRUNK, and we were all going to be late for our next flight. Julianne, enamored with both Levi, and I, was the MOST likely to miss her connecting flight, and was trying to convince Levi and I to miss our flights, so we could all go hang out at the Airport Bar.
RIIIIGHT.
Longer story shorter... we all made our flights, (even her) despite how late we dropped in, but even before splitting up we made sure to exchange business cards and phone numbers and what not.
So that was my fun drunk 3 hour 40 minute plane ride.
The plane from Minneapolis to Sioux Falls took her SWEET time. I originally thought I was going to arrive an HOUR before Lisa got off work... but there was SOOO much delay, we arrived almost 10 minutes AFTER Lisa left. So not only would we have to wait at the airport... but we'd have to wait for luggage.
So as my parting thought before I need to log off...
As my plane landed from Minneapolis, to Sioux Falls... it touched the ground... then skid.
Left.
Right.
Left.
Right.
THEN Stopped.
I had to change my pants. Okay, i'll touch on this again when I get the chance...
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